Written:
10-19-96

Change of Pace
 By Clay Busker

     The sun began to rise.  The world was preparing for yet another day in
the endless time continuum that we call life.  The sun was turning a delicate
golden-red, and the air was fresh, as the brightly colored leaves were
swaying in the breeze, trying to decide whether or not to give in to its
instincts to end it all.  In death there is beauty.
     Even as normal as the day seemed, I could sense something different in
the air.  The world was bringing up a new challenge, and the balance of
power was soon to be shifting.  It was as if I was flying through the sky,
and even though I could not quite see anything abnormal, I could tell that
a shadow was descending upon us.  I realized that the time was coming that
a battle would rise, and the world would again be on my shoulders.
     I walked slowly to school, as I stared with wonder at the awe-inspiring
beauty that nature provided.  I drank it all in, as I knew that I would never
have that moment to live again.
     Slowly, one foot in front of the other, I proceeded.  I paused for a
moment as I felt the wind blow around me.  The never-ending wind.  The air
shifting back and forth, as if it were a battle between good and evil.  One
side gaining the upper hand, only to be running away shortly afterward.
Seasons come, seasons go, one side wins, one side loses, in a back and forth
rhythm that is almost beautiful in its monotony.
     I resumed my pace, but let my mind wander, to become like a bird,
watching the world from on high, knowing what is going on, yet caring little
beyond the peace and freedom that I have.  I watched in awe as one human
creature sped quickly along in its horseless carriage, talking on the phone,
and eating a breakfast bar, all while driving more carelessly and quickly
than it should have been.  I watched in awe, because his meeting, or
wherever it had to be at, was now canceled, at least in its case, primarily
because it met up with another of its kind that was in similar straights.
     I fell back into my body, and took another look at the nearby world,
as I listened to my soft footsteps pad on the cracked cement.  An old Oak
stood nearby, and I took a picture of it in my mind, and then watched the
world through the eyes of the bent old being.  I watched as everything
blurred past me, as I looked on with amazement, though it was an amazement
I had felt for a long time.  Everything was flying past me, and everything
seemed to have a pace to it that said, "Life is almost over, we must live
it up as much as we can."  But at the same time, I kept on hearing, "Life
is so useless.  Let us end it now so that we can get done with this pitiful
existence."
     I even felt pain.  I had been alive longer than others could hope to
live, yet I knew what life was about.  I was stuck in one spot, yet I never
yearned to be more than a few feet from the point at which I came into
being.  I just slowly swayed back and forth, and watched with joy in my soul
as the world passed me by.
     I stood up straight, threw away my walking stick, and began walking
again.  I was almost there, but before I arrived, I saw two more humans.
One a young creature, whose eyes I watched with joy, as I saw the wonder
and joy at the mere fact of being alive, and the joyful spirit of being in
a constant state of learning about what was around me in the world.  The
other was a slightly older, yet still young creature, who was yelling at
the younger creature.  I look into its eyes, and saw apathy, as well as a
look of carelessness that made me think that it had died, but its body had
forgotten to stop breathing.